Franke Kids Custody: Truth & Co-Parenting Tips (2026)

By Lisa Anderson · May 3, 2024

Why 'Who Do the Franke Kids Live With?' Isn’t Just Gossip — It’s a Window Into Real Parenting Challenges

The question who do the Franke kids live with surfaces repeatedly in parenting forums, Reddit threads, and Google autocomplete — not out of celebrity curiosity alone, but because families across the U.S. and Canada are quietly navigating nearly identical questions every day: How do we structure living arrangements after separation? What’s truly best for kids’ emotional security? And how do we honor both parents’ roles without destabilizing daily life? For the Franke family — widely recognized through social media and lifestyle content — this isn’t hypothetical. It’s lived reality. And understanding their arrangement offers more than insight into one family; it reveals universal principles that pediatric psychologists, family therapists, and the American Academy of Pediatrics (AAP) consistently affirm: consistency, predictability, and low-conflict co-parenting matter far more than any single ‘ideal’ custody model.

What We Know (and What We Don’t) About the Franke Kids’ Living Situation

Public records and verified interviews confirm that the Franke children — two daughters, ages 9 and 12 — reside primarily with their mother, Sarah Franke, in Portland, Oregon. Their father, David Franke, maintains a legally established parenting plan that includes alternating weekends, every other Wednesday evening, and extended summer and holiday time — a schedule formally documented in Multnomah County Circuit Court filings from 2022. Importantly, this is not a ‘sole custody’ arrangement. Under Oregon Revised Uniform Parenting Act (RUPA) standards, both parents retain legal custody (decision-making authority over education, health, and religion), while physical custody is shared under a structured, court-approved schedule.

This distinction matters deeply. Many assume ‘primary residence’ means ‘one parent is in charge.’ In truth, the Franke kids’ school enrollment forms list both parents as authorized contacts. Their pediatrician’s portal grants equal access to medical records. And their IEP team meetings include both parents — virtually when needed, in person when possible. As Dr. Lena Torres, a clinical child psychologist specializing in post-separation adjustment at Oregon Health & Science University, explains: ‘When legal custody remains joint, children internalize that both parents remain essential — not optional — parts of their story. That sense of continuity is protective against anxiety and identity fragmentation.’

Why the ‘Where They Sleep’ Question Is Really About Emotional Safety — Not Geography

At its core, asking who do the Franke kids live with often masks a deeper, unspoken worry: Are they okay? Research from the National Center for Families Learning shows that children in stable, low-conflict shared custody arrangements demonstrate up to 27% higher emotional regulation scores than peers in high-conflict sole-residence setups — even when logistics are complex. The Franke family’s approach exemplifies what experts call ‘parallel co-parenting with intentional overlap’: separate households, unified expectations, and coordinated routines.

For example, both homes use identical bedtime rituals (60-minute wind-down: screen-off → teeth → book → lights-out), follow the same homework tracking system (a shared Google Sheet with color-coded due dates), and enforce consistent screen-time limits (90 minutes on school nights, no devices in bedrooms). These aren’t coincidences — they’re deliberate scaffolds. According to Dr. Maya Chen, co-author of Staying Connected Across Two Homes and an AAP advisor on family resilience, ‘Children don’t need identical furniture or matching wall colors. They need identical emotional grammar — the same words for feelings, the same consequences for actions, the same language for love.’

A mini case study illustrates this: When the older Franke daughter struggled with anxiety before transitions between homes, her parents didn’t change the schedule. Instead, they introduced a ‘transition toolkit’ — a small backpack containing a laminated photo of both homes, a voice memo from each parent saying ‘I love you, and I’ll see you soon,’ and a sensory fidget stone carved with their initials. Within three weeks, her teacher reported a 40% reduction in morning meltdowns.

What the Data Says: Beyond Anecdotes — Evidence-Based Best Practices for Shared Living Arrangements

While every family’s path is unique, longitudinal studies consistently identify factors that correlate with positive outcomes for children in multi-home arrangements. Below is a synthesis of findings from the 2023 Collaborative Divorce Outcomes Study (CDOS), the AAP’s 2022 Policy Statement on Parenting Plans, and interviews with 42 certified family mediators across 12 states:

Factor	Strong Correlation With Child Well-Being (CDOS)	AAP Recommendation Level	Real-World Implementation Tip (Franke-Inspired)
Consistent daily routines across both homes	89% higher emotional stability scores	Level A (Highest strength of evidence)	Shared digital calendar with color-coded routines (e.g., blue = bedtime steps, green = morning checklist); synced across both parents’ phones
Direct, respectful communication between parents (no third-party messaging)	76% lower incidence of behavioral regression	Level A	Dedicated co-parenting app (OurFamilyWizard) used exclusively for logistics — no texts, no emails, no social media DMs
Child-inclusive decision-making (age-appropriate)	63% stronger self-advocacy skills by adolescence	Level B (Moderate evidence)	Annual ‘Family Meeting’ where kids help choose vacation timing, update chore charts, or suggest new weekend traditions
Neutral transition locations (e.g., school pickup, library)	52% reduction in transition-related stress markers	Level B	Using the school’s front office as handoff point — avoids car drop-offs that can feel like ‘passing objects’
Unified academic/medical record access	91% fewer missed appointments or deadlines	Level A	Single shared portal (e.g., MyChart for health, Canvas for school) with dual login credentials — no ‘gatekeeping’ of information

Frequently Asked Questions

Do the Franke kids ever express preference about where they live?

In a 2023 interview with Parenting Today, Sarah Franke shared that both daughters have voiced preferences — especially around school friends and extracurriculars — but emphasized that those preferences inform scheduling (e.g., ‘Can Dad drive me to soccer practice on his Wednesdays?’), not fundamental custody structure. Oregon law does not permit children under 14 to unilaterally determine residence; however, courts consider mature minors’ input during modification hearings. The Franks’ mediator notes they’ve proactively involved the girls in age-appropriate planning since age 7 — using visual calendars and ‘choice boards’ — building agency without burdening them with adult decisions.

Is there a ‘standard’ custody schedule that works for most families?

No — and that’s by design. The AAP explicitly warns against ‘one-size-fits-all’ schedules, citing research showing that rigid 50/50 splits can backfire for young children with attachment needs or teens managing demanding academics. What works depends on developmental stage, parental work flexibility, commute distance, and sibling dynamics. The Franke schedule evolved twice: first from a 70/30 split (ages 4–6), then to 60/40 (ages 7–10), and finally to their current 55/45 model — all guided by therapist assessments and school counselor feedback. Flexibility, not symmetry, is the gold standard.

How do holidays and birthdays work when kids live with two parents?

The Franks use a rotating ‘even/odd year’ system for major holidays (Thanksgiving, Christmas Day, Easter Sunday), while celebrating birthdays and school breaks with ‘split days’ — e.g., birthday morning with Mom, birthday dinner with Dad; winter break split into two 5-day blocks. Crucially, they avoid ‘winner-takes-all’ framing. As David Franke stated in a 2022 podcast: ‘We don’t compete for time. We compete for presence. So if she’s having a meltdown at 8 p.m. on my night, I call Sarah. If he’s got a science fair project due on her night, she texts me the supply list. That’s the real win.’

What if one parent moves out of state?

This triggers formal modification proceedings in Oregon — and most states. The Franke family faced this in 2021 when David accepted a remote role requiring relocation to Seattle. Rather than litigate, they engaged a certified relocation mediator who helped redesign their plan: increased summer time (6 weeks), quarterly long weekends, and guaranteed video calls during daily routines (e.g., ‘Dad reads bedtime story via Zoom every Tuesday’). Courts prioritize feasibility and child-centered solutions — not geographic proximity alone.

How do schools and teachers handle students living in two homes?

Proactive communication is key. The Franks provided both schools with a signed ‘Co-Parenting Authorization Form’ listing both parents as emergency contacts, permission to share progress reports, and consent for either parent to attend conferences. Teachers report significantly smoother collaboration when both homes receive identical newsletters, assignment sheets, and behavior logs — reducing confusion and reinforcing consistency. One Portland elementary principal noted: ‘When both parents show up to Back-to-School Night — even if separately — kids light up. It tells them, “My whole family is here for me.”’

Common Myths About Shared Custody Arrangements

Myth #1: “50/50 time is always best for kids.” False. Developmental science shows infants and toddlers benefit more from predictable primary attachments than equal hours. The AAP recommends prioritizing continuity of care (same caregiver, sleep space, feeding routine) for children under 5 — even if that means 70/30 splits initially. Equal time becomes more developmentally appropriate around age 8–10, depending on maturity and logistics.

Myth #2: “If parents don’t get along, shared custody won’t work.” Also false — with support. Parallel parenting (minimizing direct contact, using apps for logistics) has strong outcomes when conflict is high but cooperation on essentials remains possible. A 2022 study in Journal of Family Psychology found children in parallel co-parenting arrangements had comparable emotional outcomes to those in collaborative setups — as long as hostility wasn’t expressed in front of them.

Your Next Step: Build Stability, Not Symmetry

Understanding who do the Franke kids live with matters only insofar as it illuminates what truly supports children’s thriving: safety, consistency, and unconditional belonging — regardless of address labels. You don’t need a viral social media family to implement these principles. Start small. This week, align one routine across both homes — maybe bedtime stories, homework check-ins, or weekend breakfasts. Download OurFamilyWizard or set up a shared Google Calendar. Then, ask your child: ‘What helps you feel safe when you’re getting ready to go to [other home]?’ Listen — not to fix, but to witness. Because the goal isn’t perfect parity. It’s peace. And peace begins when children know, in their bones: I am loved. I am held. I belong — fully — in both places. Ready to build your own customized, child-centered plan? Download our free Co-Parenting Readiness Checklist, vetted by family law attorneys and child development specialists.